As a young woman with cerebral palsy (CP), I have always found social situations challenging, mostly when it comes to building friendships and participating in social events or going places. Although my condition is mild, and for the most part only affects my lower limbs, it causes balance issues and limits my running and walking speed in comparison with my peers.
Cerebral palsy is a neurological condition, meaning that although the impact is physical, there is a part of my brain that doesn’t work properly. My friends have found this confusing to say the least, with comments such as “You’re not stupid” made when I try to explain the condition to them!
Growing up, at school I had only one or two close friends who I sadly have drifted apart from over time. I’ve always been a bit of a tomboy, so I was interested in playing football or some other sporting activity, but my restricted mobility meant that I was often left out or forgotten as I couldn’t keep up or play the game in quite the same way as everyone else.
Socially, I was quite isolated and very quiet, and this unintentional problem at school never did anything to help with that. This may have something to do with being an only child, I’ll never know, but even as a child I was content with my own company and still am, to an extent, as I’ve got used to it.
I was the victim of some mild bullying at school, with comments and impressions made about my walking style and the difficulties I faced in PE, when academia has always been my strength. It was always patronizing in PE, as due to my disability, I was in the bottom set and not a lot was expected of me, so people didn’t always give me the chance to try something or show what I could do, even if it wasn’t what everyone else was aiming for.
I had hoped this would change when I was 10. I had an operation to help improve my walking, leaving me in a wheelchair for a couple of months, and having to learn to walk again using the same kind of frame as when I first learned to walk, at the late age of two years old. My condition meant that I was always going to be slow at learning to walk, but the sheer determination of my physiotherapists, something which I have had all my life, meant that I was able to walk on the whole of my foot, rather than on my tiptoes, like some people with cerebral palsy.
My social circle appeared to improve during my time in a wheelchair, with people taking turns to push me around the school, however this didn’t last, and I was returned to my isolated self, with the bullying becoming more prevalent in my final years at school. My social life was always difficult as I moved through my teens, with my disability meaning that using public transport such as buses and trains were a big no-no, given the balance issues I faced using them. This meant that I was reliant on family or friends to get me around, which made my teen years difficult, but passing my driving test in 2017 gave me some much-needed independence.
One sport I have always loved is swimming. Following my operation, I found a local swim team in Gloucester who had recently created a disability squad. As one of their first members, I swam with them for a decade, alongside numerous other disabled children, competing in local, national and international events over my time as a para-swimmer. I joined a charity called CP Sport, which encourages children and young people with cerebral palsy to take part in sport. They gave me the highlight of my swimming career, the CP World Games in Barcelona in 2018, where I won a bronze medal in my favoured distance event, the 400m freestyle, and helped the England squad finish top of the medal table. This was particularly special to me, as I had just missed out on a place in the squad 4 years previously.
The support of my parents has been crucial to my success in the pool, whether that be my parents acting as a taxi to get me to training and competitions, and spending their weekends and holidays sat by a pool cheering me on, or financing my kit, competititions or anything else that allowed me to reach the height that I did. They have always been there and I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today without their support, both in and out of the pool.
Shortly after Barcelona, I turned 18 and was due to go to university in September, and so I knew this was likely the pinnacle of my swimming days and would not be able to be the all-consuming part of my life it had been for many years. Due to my success in the pool outside of school, I found school swimming embarrassing as just because I couldn’t swim like everyone else, I was disregarded as being good at it, when in fact, I had achieved a lot more in the pool than my classmates. This wouldn’t be the first time that I was underestimated either, as numerous times throughout school, I was dismissed as being part of a social event with ‘friends’ as they thought I wouldn’t be able to participate, without asking me.
At college, I found a much more supportive group of friends, a few of whom I am still in touch with today, despite being at universities at opposite ends of the country. With this new-found support, I was able to do more things that typical teenagers do, including getting blind drunk with my friends one night while celebrating our A-Level results, and going to a club for the first time. To this day, I have very little recollection of what happened that night, which does give me delight that I was able to have that experience, without being judged for my physical concerns. These were never things that I had considered doing, because the idea of losing more control of my balance and mobility than usual was frightening, but knowing I had that extra support of a friend who understood my limitations and reluctance helped blossom my confidence in a way that meant I could finally have some of the social experiences that I felt had been denied to me by my disability for so many years.
Going to university in Cardiff for a journalism degree was a big challenge for me, as it meant moving away from the support network of my parents that I was used to, although I was determined to live away from home as to me, it’s a key part of the university experience. I knew it would be a difficult time for me, but their unwavering encouragement made taking that new and frankly scary step that much easier.Having my car, which is specially adapted with hand controls, was a massive help as getting to Cardiff any other way was not possible but being able to do that gave me a whole new understanding of the word independence. Living independently is tricky when you have a mobility issue, and it meant that I had certain requirements for both my first-year halls, and private accommodation for years two and three, making my choices limited. I needed a low step shower, parking space and a ground floor flat. It doesn’t seem like much but having those made a massive difference to me while away from home.
During my time in Cardiff, I also had a personal trainer and joined the swim team, both of whom were very positive about making any adaptations that would work for me. Although my swimming level dropped considerably from the heights of 2018, it felt good that I was still able to be included within the university sport world, despite my CP, including winning the only Cardiff medal of my final BUCS competition in 2019. Not only that, but I met one of my best friends here, who I later moved in with in second year.
I made a lot of friends during my time as an undergraduate, and it was refreshing and comforting to know that, unlike at school, I was never treated any differently, I was just Sallie, not Sallie with CP, and was able to ask for help when necessary. It became an inside joke that as I was disabled, I was the driver, but one I was part of, rather than the butt of. I have remained in contact with most of these friends since I left Cardiff in the summer, despite Covid having ruined our final year, meaning we haven’t reunited for graduation yet!
Now, I’m coming to the end of my master’s degree in Multimedia Journalism at UCLan, and I am achieving things I would never have thought possible with my disability. Much of my concerns were similar when moving here, but everyone has been overwhelmingly supportive, adapting things so that I can do them, rather than stopping me if I can’t do something like everyone else, including working with cameras and in the TV and radio studios.
I feel that I have really developed as a person over the years, and my cerebral palsy is a big part of who I am. I hope that my journey is a prime example of what can be done with a disability. I am very proud to be a member of the CP community!